So many thoughts.. that I can't think anymore
So much to say.. that I can't bring myself to say a word
All I've managed to do is write this..


I need an addiction
to take the emptiness away
I need a hit of some concoction
to help me get through the day
I need something sharp
pressed up against bare skin
hard enough to take my breath away
long enough to let life sink in

I'm settling and it fucking hurts
so pills numb me..
take me to a painless place
take me to a thoughtless place
turn off the music, its just feeding the feeling
and sleep..


That feels a little better.. I promise you I'm not depressed or suicidal or any kind of crazy .. just in a complicated and confused place .. feeling a little needy, which i HATE! I have so much to be grateful for so feeling a little guilty for being so selfish.. I am also tired as hell so I am going before I give in and delete this.. and before I fall asleep!!

Night